30. I Want a Cool Theme Song

If I could be a superhero, I would want a "Make Dove Happy" superpower. And adamantium claws, because they're cool. And with my trusty Squirrel sidekick, we'd rid the city of dishonest parking cops and dog owners that don't clean up poo. Oh, I want kung fu powers too. And a light sabre. Maybe light sabre adamantium claws. That'd be way cool.

29. Song: Greatest Canadian Zero

This is... kinda off. I mean, a lot more than the other ones I've been singing in. One reason is that it's too high for me. The second is that I did it at 10:45pm and I didn't want to do too many takes else I'd wake up my kids.

But I'm willing to embarass myself for my love... which really doesn't hold much weight because I'll embarass myself for any old reason... but this one is for love. Trust me.


Greatest Canadian Zero



MP3 Download

Look there is not much to me.
In life I'm a low beta male
Spending my weekends alone on the web
A loser just ready to fail.

But believe it or not, I met a real girl
She even wants to hang out with me
Finding a girl is exceedingly rare.
Who was she?
Believe it or not, she's lovely.

Her smile would brighten my day.
A feat only Reddit could do.
Breaking me out of my basement dwelling
Making my real life wishes come true

Believe it or not, I dated a girl
I never thought it would ever be
(No longer) Pining away alone in despair
Who could foresee? Believe it or not, she likes me.

Made this mp3. Because believe it or not, she likes me.

28. Marwaige

I for one welcome my new female overlord.

Song: Commodore 64

Well, this is not a love note, at least, not to Dove. It's a song I recorded today. I wrote the words a few days ago, and just had to sing it now that I have my new Fast Track. :D


Commodore 64



MP3 Download

Just take those old floppies off the shelf
I'll load them up and play them by myself
Todays gaming ain't got the same soul
I like my Commodore 64
Don't try and give me a nintendo
You'll never get me trying other consoles
I don't care if it's the latest Halo
I like my Commodore 64

Still like my Commodore 64
That kind of gaming just soothes the soul
I reminisce about the days of old
With my Commodore 64

Don't need your funky multi button controls
For Last Ninja or even Alter Ego
Can also play Usagi Yojimbo
All on my Commodore 64
Call me a relic playing Ultima 3
You can't beat Mule, Elite, or even Bruce Lee
Today's games aint got the same soul
I like that Commodore 64

Still like that Commodore 64
That kind of gaming just soothes my soul
I still play Mule, Maniac Mansion and more
All on my Commodore 64

Still like that Commodore 64
That kind of gaming just soothes the soul
Racing Construction Set, Space Taxi and more
I like my Commodore 64

Still like that Commodore 64
That kind of gaming just soothes the soul
Impossible Mission, Archon, Wasteland and more
With my Commodore 64

Still like that Commodore 64
That kind of gaming just soothes the soul
Below the Root, the Epyx games and more
Just love my Commodore 64

Can't beat the Commodore 64....

27. Pixelicious Beauty

Errol needs Dove badly.

(Thanks to Jeff Rankine)

26. Online Chatting

HUZZAH! Finally, I received my M-Audio Podcast Factory! Now I can record songs with abandon! I can't tell you how pleased I am! This next song there are four of us! Vic is singing with me this time, but Debs is doing backup vocals, as well as some guy named Matt who Debs won't even tell me the last name of for me to give him proper credit! But thanks Matt!

I apologize in advanced for the last part, where I'm doing vile things to the cat. My falsetto is awful.

Online Chats


MP3 Download


Online chatting, while playing Starcraft
Online chatting, time passing fast
I met a girl, she talked to me
Met a boy, polite as could be
Surfin days driftin' away, to uh - oh those online chats

Uh Well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
Does she live very far?
Tell me more, tell me more
Does he know where you are?
Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh

She webcammed me, she's really hot
He would spam me, begged quite alot
Asked her if, she gamed online
He showed off, his web designs
Surfing fun, something's begun, but uh - oh those online chats

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
Was it love at first chat?
Tell me more, tell me more
Does she know that your fat?
Uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh-uh-huh

We went trolling, on message boards
Likes Wii bowling, won lots of awards
She's on Youtube, she really rocks
We shared notes, in Google Docs
Surfing flings, don't mean a thing, but uh - oh, those online chats

Uh well-a well-a well-a huh
Tell me more, tell me more
So what's her username?
Tell me more, tell me more
Cos he sounds really lame
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop,
shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, shoo-bop bop, YEH

He was friendly, sang me a tune
So we looked, for a private chat room
Tried to flirt, with cheesy come-ons
Well we got busy, with emoticons
Woah!
Surfin heat, boy and girl meet, but uh-oh those online chats

Woo, woo, woo
Tell me more, tell me more Was your heart all a whirl?
Tell me more, tell me more
Are you sure she's a girl?

We grew busy, that's where it ends
So we made sure, we're Facebook friends
Then we made our true love vow
Wonder if, we'll meet in WOW
Surfin dreams, ripped at the seams, bu-ut ... oh, those o--online... cha-ats....

Tell me more, tell me more!

25. I'm A Hotty

University was tough and so was high school.
I never was in, I never was cool.
But now we are hot! Of the crop, we're the cream.
As all my geek interests are suddenly mainstream.
And the offers are coming in gruesome detail
As they vie for attention, at least through email.
Some want to show pics, some just want to chat!
Some are russion guys, now what's up with that?
But I have one thing to say to each futile submission,
Only you have root access to my heart's permissions.

(With thanks to Thebes)

24. G33K Parade

There, but for you, go I.

Thanks to GeekStudent.com

23. You're Number One

Our love, to me, is quite divine
And is so like a number prime.
It's divisors are only two
That's our love, just me and you.

22. A Bottomless Container Filled with Flesh...

I get morose when you aren't on MSN.

21. n(n+1)/2 Lovely Things About Dove Where n=10

Ten Things About Dove

1. Likes peanut-butter and onion sandwiches
   
2. Has bright magenta moles
3. Has cute toes
4. Likes top-down shooter games
5. Is fascinated by squirting pus
6. Hasn't seen Star Wars
7. Washes people's feet on a weekly basis
8. Does sudoku in pen
9. Serial fish killer
10. Puts the passion in compassion

Nine Ways to Win Dove Over

1. Give her those brightly coloured plants that have that pungent, perfumy odour
2. Go outside into the harsh environment, even if you don't need to
   
3. Dim Sum
4. Don't take her to Futureshop
5. Pho
6. Turn the lights so low that you can't see anything but you still have to stay in the room
7. Thai
8. Take her to a restaurant so she can listen to other people besides her husband
9. Asian food in general

Eight Ways to Annoy Dove

1. Place her in traffic
2. Give her tepid milk
3. Place your feces anywhere but in the toilet
   
4. Play Starcraft for long periods of time
5. Make her learn kung fu
6. Cover the floor with vaseline as an impromptu skating rink
7. Randomly place articles of clothing about the house and then...
8. Invite 75 people over to her house as a surprise

Seven Things She Wants to Do Before She Dies

1. Live
   
2. Watch her children grow old and move out of the house
3. Visit Crete
4. See her husband go camping
5. Learn the cello
6. Meet Patrick Dempsey
7. Open a teahouse

Six Things Dove Needs to Get

1. A Masseuse
   
2. Cable
3. Jeans that are normal
4. A husband that ventures outside
5. Someone to discipline the children
6. A Macbook Pro to give her husband

Five Things Dove Is Afraid Of

1. Mice
   
2. Rats
3. Small furry things that resemble rodents
4. Pictures of mice
5. Accompanying her husband to a video store for three hours 

Four Things In Dove's Room

1. A closet which lacks the pole thingy to hold up dresses which have been relocated to the spare room and is now causing stress
   
2. Her husbands clothes... on the floor... causing stress
3. A red sheet thingy that goes on top of the bed for some reason
4. Pillows which are not used for sleeping but are for display on a made bed ...impractical use of a pillow, if you ask me

Three Thing Dove Does Daily

1. Take care of kids
   
2. Be loved
3. Look beautiful

Two Things Dove Wants to Do Right Now

1. Sleep
   
2. Watch Grey's Anatomy

One Confession

Her husband loves all things about her

20. I'm Glad We Linked Up

Seeing you is more exhilarating than seeing a Great Fairy's Fountain when I'm down to half a heart.

19. A Boy & His Game

I love you so much, I took a break from Civ to write this love note.

18. The Only Type of Girl that Talk to Geeks

When I play Harvest Moon, I always woo Karen, even though she can't cook, has expensive taste, and probably has liver failure from all her drinking.

17. Twitterpated

Why having a Twitter account is pointless for me.

16. Natural 20

Life with you is +20 to joy.